How to be a better man with integrity, simply and inexpensively
9 AREAS OF LIFE TO BE A BETTER MAN
A recent post in my men’s group had me thinking of the personal development and growth I have under gone in the past few months. If you have ever defined yourself by others needs or wants, an employee, a husband or father, gotten over a financial or personal loss and felt, well lost that this post is for you. My knowledge from what I have been through, my soul searching, my journey for finding myself has let me to search out information to rebuild myself as the man I want to be and not a copy of my father or any other man.
I was very good in English, I had a wonderful teacher that taught me proper English, but by no means am I an expert word smith, poet, writer or professional blogger, I for the most part try to find the simple ways to do things with the least amount of complication.
That being said the bullets in these 9 AREAS OF LIFE TO BE A BETTER MAN come from and are inspired by other sources, I have listed below. HOWEVER they serve as a create point from where you can redefine yourself as a modern man breaking down the barriers of society and social media pressures to have a clear conscious and happier thoughts for a better life, TODAY!
GET UP, STOP SLEEPING IN – It isn’t your right to be lazy. That’s not freedom. Freedom is earned, it’s won, it’s appreciated. When someone else is taking care of you, you have no freedom.
READ, TURN OFF THE TV – Your mind is a tool, and like all tools, it needs to be sharpened. If you’re not a big fan of reading, then look into puzzles.
YOUR MIND NEEDS TO HEAL – Go for walks. Meditate. Do Yoga. Do whatever it is that you have to do to allow your mind to focus on the present moment and nothing else. We live in a hectic world, and finding true peace of mind is hard to come by.
PLAN FOR THE FUTURE – A mentor told me, be kind to your future self. It’s one thing to always be thinking about the future, and it’s another to have a plan of action. Living in the moment is extremely important, but if you don’t have a plan for the future, then, in the future, your moments will be less than fulfilling.
STOP FILLING YOUR HEAD WITH POINTLESS SHIT – Pick a celebrity, any celebrity, and if you know more about his/her life than you do about the political situation in Syria, then take a moment to reevaluate your life.
LEARN SOMETHING NEW – Progression can only happen if we are willing to step outside of our comfort zones and immerse ourselves in the unfamiliar. Learn another language or learn to cook. Learning new things will make you a more interesting and well-rounded man.
TRAVEL MORE – There’s a big world out there, full of interesting people and beautiful sights. Seeing these destinations on TV or reading about them in books is one thing, but you will never get the full global experience unless you just pick up and go.
[TWEET – I CHOOSE TO GROW UP, WITH KID LIKE WONDER TO LEARN TODAY!]
PERSONAL LOOK / HEALTH
WORK OUT WHEN YOU WAKE UP – You don’t need to head straight to the gym. Just roll out of bed, do 50 pushups, 50 sit-ups, 100 jumping jacks and as many pull-ups as you can muster. If you can’t handle that much, then do as much as you can and work your way up.
STOP WORRYING ABOUT YOUR CLOTHES – Clothes don’t make the man. Take pride in how you present yourself, sure, but stop fretting over your appearance, thinking that appearance is the measure of a man. The content of your character is who you are and who you are to the rest of humanity. Want to look good in clothes? You don’t have to spend a fortune on clothing, but make sure you look good in what you wear. Looking good doesn’t cost as much as you think.
CLEAN UP – Either shave or trim – that goes for every area of your body. You don’t need to have the skin of a prepubescent girl, but being sexy means a hint of tameness. Personally, the hipster beards need to go!
REDUCE THE COFFEE/ CAFFEINE / COLA’S – There are healthier ways to feel energized. Plus, your heart will thank you in 30 years or so. Besides eliminating Cola’s even alcohol or beer will trim your waistline faster than you think! Reach for a glass of water, more often. You’re brain get’s dehydrated faster than any other part of your body, rehydrate and think better!
GIVE MORE – Seeing how a person feels or feeling their appreciation because you stopped to think of them is beneficial if not for the relationship, but for your own self worth and integrity.
CLEAN YOUR ENVIRONMENTS – An organized apartment will allow for a better-organized mind. Clutter has a way of seeping into our minds and making us feel claustrophobic.
STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS – Social media has made this the norm. Stop it. Stop wishing you were in someone else’s shoes. Stop wanting what someone else has. Stop looking over the fence and start looking in the mirror.
STOP WITH THE SELFIE’s – It’s weird and vain, instead make a video teaching someone else something cool, IF you must see yourself on camera.
[TWEET – THINK SMARTER TODAY – DRINK MORE WATER NOW]
STOP WASTING MONEY – Spend money on experiences and other people, not on things, nor on yourself. Money can be a great thing. It can help others. It can open your eyes to new ways of living, different cultures, climates, and creations. Stop wasting it on stupid shit. Start using it to enrich your life and the lives of others.
MONEY IS A RESOURCE, USE IT WHEN NECESSARY – Debt isn’t sexy – no matter who’s wearing it.
SAVE SOME MONEY – Earning money is great, but it’s not beneficial unless you are saving. Make sure your bank account is something you can fall back on if needed. You never know where life will take you, and a little financial security goes a long way.
ASSETS – an asset is what goes up in value or makes you money, your home is not an asset. Invest in yourself in how to acquire assets, they will save you on taxes, help you out in down times, offer a security blanket.
INVEST IN REAL ESTATE – owning a rental is a business, you change tax classes, it’s a business, you get the appreciation, rental cash flow, build a long term asset, income shelter, provide extra money through someone else’s efforts, who actually needs a home to live.
[TWEET – MONEY IS ABUNDANT AND IS COMING TO ME, TODAY!]
EVOVE FROM THE JOB YOU HATE – FIRE IT! – You have less time on this planet than you think. It’s better to be broke and happy than to be rich and miserable.
START A BUSINESS – That great idea you have will stay just that, an idea, unless you put fear and uncertainty behind you and make it a reality. There’s no greater regret in life than knowing you didn’t try.
STOP QUITING – Tribulation is opportunity, it always is and always has been. When the economy tanks, those who’ve saved their money, who’ve stayed disciplined when things were going well will have the chance to cash in. When the shit hits the fan you’re given an opportunity to persist, to push through, to become tougher and stronger. Stop quitting when it’s easier to quit, keep pushing.
[TWEET – WORK WAS LEFT AT WORK]
KNOW ABOUT WORLD AFFAIRS – If you’re going to live and function in this world, then you better understand it as well as you can. Many of the decisions we make every day have a visible effect on the other side of the world. Travel outside of the country to understand what other cultures see in Americans, you might be shocked, be a good representative.
STOP POUTING, WHINING and GOSSIPING – Life can suck. It’s harsh. It isn’t easy. Bad shit happens to good people all the time. But pouting is useless. CHOOSE to look at the bright side, to appreciate wherever you are and the opportunities you have. Gossip is weak, yet it dominates conversations. Men don’t do that shit. Talk about ideas, not other people. If you enter a conversation and it turns to gossip, excuse yourself from the conversation. Be better than that. Be about more than that. Stop the complaining.
STOP BEING A DICK – Smile. Be kind. Be good. Complement people. Help people. Open doors for women. Give your time to something other than your own benefit. Stop being an entitled prick, start being the good man you’re capable of being.
BE THANKFUL – Hard work certainly pays off, but it’s crucial that you don’t forget to be thankful for all the success that comes your way.
STOP BLAMING OTHERS – This life is on you. Whether you’re happy, of value, and successful is on you. It isn’t the result of anything other than your own choices and actions. Stop blaming others for your lack of anything. Start taking control of your life, your thoughts, and your choices or just shut up.
YOU DON’T KNOW EVERYTHING – We dig our heels in now more than ever. We take a stance and we have no real idea why the stance is taken. Every single human on this planet knows something that you don’t and has something to teach you. Go into every conversation with humility, not like you’re the professor and class is in session.
STOP BEING A BITCH – Stop hiding behind this idea that there is no right or wrong. Stand up for what’s right. Fight what’s wrong. Stop being a little bitch and take a stance. Fight for those who can’t fight for themselves.
[TWEET THIS – I WILL NOT BLAME, SHAME OR JUSTIFY FOR MY OWN LACK OF KNOWLEDGE]
GROW A PAIR AND ASK HER OUT – You’ve been eyeing her for weeks and have yet to muster the courage. I see this in myself and with friends more often that we should go through. What do you really have to lose? If she doesn’t want to see you, then she won’t. At least you’ll know to look elsewhere.
TAKE HER OUT – If you’re going to take her out, then actually take her out, Women like to be treated like they’re special to you because they believe themselves to be special. Treat them as such and they’ll appreciate you for it. TRY THIS – buy her a new dress, hide it in her closet and call her to tell her she needs to be in it by 6:30, then take her out to a place you set reservations for or an activity you planned.
WOMEN ARE NOT OBJECTS – They are human beings who deserve respect. Be respectful and appreciative AND tell them how you feel about them, if not show them.
PUT A RING ON IT – The only way to overcome fear of commitment is to commit. Once you commit, you’ll conclude that there’s nothing to have feared in the first place. If she means a lot to you, then you better lock it down before someone else does.
[TWEET – CHIVALRY IS NOT DEAD – TAKING MY WOMAN TO _____________ TONIGHT]
WATCH LESS PORN: HAVE MORE SEX – Give your hand a rest and get some cardio instead. Other than being demeaning to women, porn is boring. Don’t put a Band-Aid on your needs – attend to them like a man. FIND OUT IF THEY WATCH IT, enhance your sex lives. Some may say this is voyeuristic or sick, but once I found out a previous girlfriend watched it occasionally, porn became a tool to enhance our sex life. Not to watch to get fired up, but to say, “Hey that looks like fun!” Explore each other have fun! (Read This: Does Porn Have a Place in a Man’s Life?)
PUMP UP THE FOREPLAY – It’s a very important part of the ritual – especially for women. You’re not going to impress anyone if you just rush into it. Push her pleasure boundaries, let her feel it, FIRST. You’re sex life will be better! BTW a hidden hickie or two even a bite mark puts a smile on her face when she see it coming out of the shower and gets that feeling of what she just had.
ENHANCE YOUR SEX LIFE – Both guys and girls enjoy sex, so if your in a committed relationship, stop having the same, boring sex in the same, boring place. Be adventurous. Find a bush. Back seat of a car. Rent a room. Get lost in the woods. Get the point?
STOP WAITING – Start acting. Start chasing your goals, your dreams, and hunting down your fears. Stop waiting for a gift, a promotion, a helping hand, go out and get it. It may take years to get what you want, but persist. God didn’t make you a quitter.
PROVIDE FOR YOUR FAMILY – Stop waiting for the perfect job to come your way, take the next one available. Too many humans think they’re destined for something perfect when they haven’t earned it. They’re too good to do this, they’re above that. The reality is that you need a bloody paycheck, so take the next job and work your ass off, climb the ladder, be better than your wage, and reap the future rewards.
LEAVE WORK AT WORK – When you walk off your job site, consider this to be a time you take off work and you put on family. Spend more time talking about family and less about work when at home.When you walk off your job site, consider this to be a time you take off work and you put on family. Spend more time talking about family and less about work when at home.
TAKE MOMMY OUT AND TREAT HER RIGHT – When Momma is happy, everyone is happy. Making time to spend with your wife doing something fun is some of the wisest time you will spend each week. If you are treating your spouse right, the boys will grow up to mirror that behavior, so show them authentic love.
DO SOMETHING WITH EACH OF YOUR KIDS MONTHLY – In order to prevent tension with your children, try to do something fun with them every week. This one step will make your bond with them stronger.
VOLUNTEER AS A FAMILY – If serving others brings much joy to an individual, just imagine what it can do for the entire family. Pick places to volunteer at as a family and watch what joy this will bring everyone. Besides kids follow what they see faster than they are told what to do. (Read This: 10 ways to serve others as a family)
READ WITH THE FAMILY – Pick great family books to read and discuss together. I am impressed by my brother and his wife how they spend so much time reading with their daughter….even before she was born.
BOTTOM LINE – Recognize that families are a blessing, so make the time with them happy. When we recognize our families are truly a gift from God, we tend to be happy about the opportunities we have with them each day. Having been a step dad to 3 incredible kids for 8 years taught me about selfish and unconditional love, for that, I will always be grateful.
[TWEET – TAKING MY FAMILY OUT TO DO _______________ TODAY, OUT OF CELL RANGE!]
A subject that crosses to many belief’s, but what ever yours is, have faith in it as long as it provides a better life for others while providing a better life for you. I give you this non denominational prayer.
[TWEET – MY FAITH IS TO BE A BETTER MAN TODAY THAN YESTERDAY!]
SOURCES of inspiration for this post:
- 25 Ways To Be A Better Man Even If You Can’t Be A Perfect One
- 21 THINGS MODERN MEN NEED TO STOP DOING
- 10 steps to make your life as a family man happier
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